I just had a baby.
He is our fifth.
He smells of warmth and life and sunlight.
I didn’t labor too long or too hard with this one. Maybe it was a little bit of God’s mercy…making up for some others and a particularly hard year. And I said yes to a needle being stuck in my back to dull the pain. Was so insistent, in fact, that not one nurse or midwife doubted or questioned my “birth plan”. I don’t regret it.
When the midwife pulled his little body out, gray gangly arms and legs slipping around, she handed him to me as he slid into this life.
Excited whispers, “take him! take him!”.
I obediently reached down and slid my fingers around his slippery self. I pulled him up onto my chest and whispered Mama’s words to him.
We began to know each other in a different way.
The moves he made inside that seemed so purposeful: “he’s kicking!”, as if he was somehow communicating to us from the womb, now became futile involuntary flailings. Hands moving about with no connection to the little mind yet.
I sat in the hospital basking in my newborn’s warmth and I thought, “what a shame.”
It’s so sad that mothers have to fight over which is better, epidurals or midwives or being induced and was that c-section necessary breastfeed no-matter-what or you’ll be a bad mother don’t you love your baby?
Why yes, yes, I love my baby very much. As much as you do. Why don’t we focus on that? And how lucky we are to get to choose how we will bring our baby into this world and how we will feed them.
Not everyone gets those choices.
So with thankfulness I welcome our new baby David Isaiah into my heart, life, home, family. I welcome my new boy with my brother’s strong name and a prophet’s words backing his very being. I pray a mother’s wishes over him and Jesus’ arms surrounding him.