My baby throws tantrums. Well, she’s 20 months old and she mostly just throws herself on the floor and looks at me.
She doesn’t scream or anything. Although if she’s extra upset, she might run into another room and throw herself on the floor, crying, for added emphasis.
And I don’t feel a thing except, “how cute” or “are you done yet?” Because I’m going to win one way or another. You will wear a diaper/go to bed/take your bath whether you want to or not. It may not be now, but it will be.
I don’t feel anger. I don’t feel frustration (unless we’re in a time crunch or something)
So why do I feel anger when my 7 year old throws his fits? When he sasses or slams a door?
Why can’t I deal with him in that same rational way?
Why can’t I tell myself: this is normal. He’s only 7. We’ll get past this, too.
Why does my mind instantly go here:
He’s not going to turn out right if he’s still sassing at the ripe old age of seven! He’ll never be able to do chores he doesn’t really want to do without getting angry! He should be past this by now! What will people think of me if they see this!?!!? I am a terrible mother!
I’m pretty sure that God feels the first way when I throw my tantrums:
I don’t want to move!
I wanted to sleep longer!
I don’t want to do my chores anymore!
He doesn’t get angry with me. He doesn’t seem baffled that I’m pulling the same behavior AGAIN. He just loves me and pats me on the back. He knows I’ll calm down. He knows I’ll turn out all right.
Oh Lord, help me to see my children through your eyes and not be surprised, not be easily angered. Help me to expect my children to act like children, and help me to patiently train them into loving, responsible adults.
*for more posts on Anger and Children, go to the Anger page.