Why Do I Get Angry With My Children?

My baby throws tantrums.  Well, she’s 20 months old and she mostly just throws herself on the floor and looks at me.

She doesn’t scream or anything.  Although if she’s extra upset, she might run into another room and throw herself on the floor, crying, for added emphasis.

And I don’t feel a thing except, “how cute” or “are you done yet?”  Because I’m going to win one way or another.  You will wear a diaper/go to bed/take your bath whether you want to or not.  It may not be now, but it will be.

I don’t feel anger.  I don’t feel frustration (unless we’re in a time crunch or something)

So why do I feel anger when my 7 year old throws his fits?  When he sasses or slams a door?

Why can’t I deal with him in that same rational way?

Why can’t I tell myself:  this is normal.  He’s only 7.  We’ll get past this, too.

Why does my mind instantly go here:

He’s not going to turn out right if he’s still sassing at the ripe old age of seven!  He’ll never be able to do chores he doesn’t really want to do without getting angry!  He should be past this by now!  What will people think of me if they see this!?!!?  I am a terrible mother!

I’m pretty sure that God feels the first way when I throw my tantrums:

I don’t want to move!

I wanted to sleep longer!

I don’t want to do my chores anymore!

Waaah!

He doesn’t get angry with me.  He doesn’t seem baffled that I’m pulling the same behavior AGAIN.  He just loves me and pats me on the back.  He knows I’ll calm down.  He knows I’ll turn out all right.

Oh Lord, help me to see my children through your eyes and not be surprised, not be easily angered.  Help me to expect my children to act like children, and help me to patiently train them into loving, responsible adults.

*for more posts on Anger and Children, go to the Anger page.

 

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Christy can be found at the beach chasing naked toddlers and cheering on her young surfers. She founded One Fun Mom to share her imperfect life and encourage moms to love how God made them. She's delighted to have you join her and her fabulous writing team as you all journey closer to God and learn to love others through His example.

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Comments

  1. Oh, girl. You are not alone. Yesterday I had to apologize to my little girl for losing my temper. When I said: “I was wrong to yell at you” she answered: “I was thinking that in my head too!” Shame on me. The first step for us is to recognize it. Then to find strategies that work. I have started hugging my kids when I feel like I’m getting angry. The contact with their little bodies tends to diffuse it and give me perspective.

  2. Totally doing the same thing right now with my 24 month old (cute tantrums) vs. my 7 yr old son who throws major tantrums still. I just worry that he will do this at school. He had problems in kindergarten this past year and now I’m not sure how to teach him to get out of his angry moods especially at school. We’ve been working on it this summer but it has been so challenging and I haven’t been modeling the best anger management when dealing with his tantrums so I’ve been trying to train myself too. It is good to know other moms deal with this too because I often feel like mine is the only 7 yr old still having tantrums. I really hope he passes through this soon. Thank you for the prayer words. I need to think that way more often.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] spats of anger, but even through my unkind words, sighs, and impatience.  I have asked myself:  is that how God acts with me?  And have gotten a very clear answer.  No.  No He doesn’t.  He is patient, He is kind.  [...]

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