What The “Mean Girls” Taught Me About Friendship

I shared what the Mean Girls did when I was a kid, and today I want to share what I learned from them about friendship.

Friendship over the years
{correction, I have known Kristan for 24 years… and: I’m terrible at math}

  • How to be A Friend

I learned that being a friend isn’t a blue sky proposition.  Being a friend means you’re there when it’s sunny or rainy.  And that even if a friend displeases you, you stick it out.

I learned that there is a “sunny” phase, when everything is roses and your friendship is perfect.

Then you realize that your new friend is PER-PET-UALLY late.  Or gets lost EVERYWHERE she goes, even with a GPS.  Or can’t sing on-key or has issues from her past that make her clingy or critical or judgmental or super duper fearful.

It’s in this phase that we decide to keep someone at arm’s length or keep on building that close friendship.  And if we choose to build that close friendship, that’s what we do.  No opting out.

  • How to Find A Friend

I learned the places to look for friends.  Definitely not on the playground!

I can be acquaintances and have pleasant relationships with women from all over, but when it comes to selecting tried-and-true friends, that’s a little tougher.

Honestly, it may sound trite, but I find friends through God, usually.  When I’m lonely I start praying {and smiling when I’m out and about} and God opens a door.

I have made new friends in Walmart parking lots, at homeschool groups, in Bible studies, swim lessons, at get-togethers, at the school drop-off, and through friends of my mom.  God is always listening to me, and He knows my need for a friend.

  • How to Keep A Friend

If I want to keep a friend, there are a few things I must do…

go the extra mile

One of my closest friends had three children before I even met my husband.  I was single.  I was carefree.  I was always willing to babysit and help and hang out, but I really had no idea what having three small children was like.  One day right around naptime I locked my keys in my car.  It was before cell phones and the only person I could call was her.  She loaded all her kids into her non-air-conditioned car in 100+ degree heat, drove to my parents’ home and broke in to get my extra key, then came to meet me in some parking lot.  And we hung out for a few hours after that.  Now that I am a mom I realize what a sacrifice she made.

keep a confidence

When a friend shares something with me she trusts it will stay with me.   If I want to chit chat with the girls at T-ball, I chit-chat about my day – not my friend’s.  If I want my friend to be my friend, I need to respect her words and her heart.

make time

Truly, it’s not easy to make time for my friends anymore.  I have a husband, four kids, I’m pregnant, I homeschool part-time, and I have to do the cooking-cleaning-baking-bathing-bedding…you know – all the things moms do.  So I may not get out to Starbucks or the movies, but I make play dates and get creative.  Sometimes a friend with no children can come over during naptime.

believe in your friend

I have a number of friends who believe in me and listen to me talk about my blog and ask me about writing and read each and every post.

I have another friend from high school who at one point listened to me confessing a wrongdoing.  When I was done she patted my hand and said:  “You didn’t mean to.“  And I thought right there and then:  I could kill someone and she would be by my side, telling me I hadn’t meant to, telling me I’d done the right thing.  It means something to have a friend I know would go to the line for me – even though I probably will never kill anyone.  I’m pretty sure.

Read more about the Mean Girls in my youth, an earlier post.

What has life taught you about friendship?

* the beautiful ladies pictured above have been my faithful friends since the Dawn Of Time {well, we’re not really that old…} and maybe I was pregnant – as usual – that’s why I look twice as big as everyone else. :)

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Christy can be found at the beach chasing naked toddlers and cheering on her young surfers. She founded One Fun Mom to share her imperfect life and encourage moms to love how God made them. She's delighted to have you join her and her fabulous writing team as you all journey closer to God and learn to love others through His example.

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Comments

  1. Karminn says:

    This is really awesome! I agree with this, there are a lot of movies I have watched that gave me a lot of lessons in life as a lady, as a mother and as an individual too..
    Karminn recently posted..Sharepoint HostingMy Profile

  2. You find great friends. Having trusted and funny friends in our life is so precious. Finding these sort of friends is not easy but these tips of yours really help me to find and determine a real friend.
    Oisha Hicks recently posted..Male Sexuality: Herbs to Enhance the Male SexualityMy Profile

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