My friend Karen posted about Fifty Shades of Grey last week.
My husband heard about it on the radio this morning. Something about “mommy porn” beating out Harry Potter as the biggest, fastest seller.
I saw one of the books at Costco today. Costco.
Do you know what porn is? It is exploiting someone else’s body for a stranger’s selfish satisfaction.
Do you know where it leads? In the last few years I’ve been involved in a recovery ministry and have seen families and marriages ripped apart through pornography. It starts out as harmless “looking” and often turns into full-blown addiction that leads down the road of strip clubs and call girls.
Do you know who I am? Mommy.
Sweet little children utter my name. The toddler calls me when she wakes up: “Mooommmyyy.” My boys tell me what’s on their hearts: “and then do you know what happened Mommy?”. My three year old cries when he falls down, “Mommy!”
And some clever marketer realized that if they pair my name with the word porn, then porn doesn’t sound so bad.
Now thousands of mommies are buying and reading these books.
Is this the rule now? If we add “mommy” to words does that make them okay?
mommy child abuser
mommy addict
mommy murder
mommy drinker
mommy meth user
mommy theft
mommy create-your-own word
John Adams {US president} said:
The Manners of Women, are the surest Criterion by which to determine whether a Republican Government is practicable, in a Nation or not. The Jews, the Greeks, the Romans, the Swiss, the Dutch, all lost their public Spirit, their Republican Principles and habits, and their Republican Forms of Government, when they lost the Modesty and Domestic Virtues of their Women.
I am writing this to Christian women. What is happening in our society? We are and can be the driving force in our nations, but we consistently choose to be swallowed up in the latest trends.
Do we allow “mommy porn” to become acceptable? Because the story is redeeming? So we can reach out to our non-Christian friends?
I think I can have a fairly educated and loving conversation about these books without reading it.
- I don’t have to go out on the streets for a night to minister to a prostitute.
- I don’t have to use drugs or drink to minister to those struggling with chemical addiction
- I don’t have to be bitten to know it’s a snake.
Another point to ponder, before we get on our high horses for not reading this particular series, before we start judging those who do {let’s try not to!}:
Satan cleverly just raised the bar. Now we can say: “it’s not like I’m reading 50 Shades of Grey or anything!”
Let’s help each other to be aware of the prowling devil and resist him with God’s help. (I Peter 5:7-9)
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
For wonderful reading ideas to get you through your summer, this article from Tim Challies (recommended by my friend Kara) is a great resource!
Also, my personal recommendation for light-hearted series that isn’t trite and is amusing: The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency (even the name is fun!) No mommy porn there.
Other articles on Fifty:
- Fifty Shades of Grey and A Game Plan from Triple Braided
- A Black & White Choice NOT To Read 50 Shades of Grey from Girls Gone Wise
shared on:
* photo credit
 |
Christy, this is so well written! When did we get to this point? It’s presents itself as *finally* mommies have permission to read porn. Satan is so deceptive. We need to pray!! Thank you for speaking boldly with courage!
Brenda @Triple Braided recently posted..Fifty Shades of Grey and a Game Plan
Well said! Thank you for taking a stand. Everyone around me seems to be reading that stuff. Not me!
My husband, who RARELY comments on what I read or watch, emphatically asked me not to read these, which was fine with me. There’s a great post by Mission:Husband from a husband’s perspective: (http://missionhusband.wordpress.com/2012/06/05/fiftyshades/) I wish more men would take a stand against these books just like women take a stand against the pornography that men get entrapped in
Elizabeth, thanks for the link! I just read that article and it was great. If this whole phenomenon were switched around, women wouldn’t STAND for men to be reading this! And it definitely wouldn’t be so encouraged by the media!
I think probably men are still a little shocked, and probably taking into account what flack they’ll take for standing up. Women can be pretty hostile!
I thought about reading this book for about 30 seconds when I first started hearing all the buzz. Something in my spirit didn’t sit right. I asked my hubby what he thought and he said, isn’t that just like watching porn? Um, yeah, I wholeheartedly decided it would not be my summer read. Thank you for reminding me that I made a good choice.
Good for you for raising this issue. I have been horrified by how easily it has become the hot topic and seemingly socially acceptable. We need to pray, and act, against this invidious step toward porn being seen as accepable. Good for you, and may God bless you.
After all our discussions, I still hadn’t processed that even the terminology we choose to use is SO important. Excellent point and your absolutely right.. “mommy” should not be paired with any of those words. Great post Christy-friend!
Kara @ The Chuppies recently posted..Tonsils Out. Worry Out.
Kara my friend, thanks for the encouragement!
It incensed me that the media was so forthright with adding “mommy” to “porn”. It associates porn with pastels and rocking chairs and baby bottles and pigtails. Not so!
I had never considered the terminology. This is a great point. One to ponder, no doubt. Thanks for sharing. Great post!
Leigh Ann @ Intentional By Grace recently posted..Comment on Running for God by Rebecca
WELL DONE my friend! Thank you for linking to my post, and for speaking up. I agree too about not getting on our high horse. We must try to dialogue about these things respectfully and with much grace. Your post is full of it: GRACE. I definitely agree that ‘mommy porn’ somehow makes it sound a little softer, a little more sober, a little more innocent. That is an interesting element to add to this conversation.
I also think your experience with recovery is very important. Some of the private messages I’ve received have been from women who have been abused sexually or physically, whose husbands are porn addicts. They have longsuffered and this subject is not to be taken lightly. ‘Not that bad’ to them is bad enough.
Lastly, I appreciate your saying you don’t have to read these books to engage in why they are bad for you. I couldn’t agree more. I realize there is a line we are constantly walking with trying to be in the world and not of it. But, in the words of my husband: “Should I read Penthouse then, so I can engage with ‘the guys’ on it?” Where is the cut off?
Karen Yates recently posted..Fifty Shades of Grey: The Phenom, The Invasion, and the Preparation
Thanks for saying something about grace, I was wanting to make sure that comes across. And thanks for alerting me to these books!
Yes, porn is a real and pervasive threat and I think we are fools if we take it lightly. And I think your husband is right on, we don’t need to read this stuff to be able to dialogue about it. Our minds are fertile ground and being Christians doesn’t make us immune to what is being put out there. We need to keep our minds pure, and the more purity and holiness we feed in, the easier it will be to recognize that which isn’t pure.
excellent post! I also…looove the Ladies Detective series…have you read the new one? Got it at COSTCO! ;o)
Stephanie recently posted..Year in Review
So well said, Christy! Thank you for calling it out for what it is. You are so right that we don’t have to participate in sin to be able to help people move toward Christ and His hope of freedom from the slavery of sin! Thank you for sharing your heart of wisdom and love! Blessings, sweet friend, Kelly
Kelly @ The Nourishing Home recently posted..Wholesome All-Fruit Pops (GF)
Thanks for taking the time to post on this! This kind of media is a huge problem. In a way I’m glad they are finally using the word “porn” to describe these books. “Romance” novels have been marketed to women as if it’s “no big deal”, but this is a slap in the face that these books should not be read by Christian women (or anyone). I used to read Christian Romance books as a teen, and even at the stupid age of 16, I could tell that if you spend too much time in them they can quickly make you dissatisfied with real life and real people.
Banana recently posted..Healthy Bread In Five Minutes A Day -A Review
You’re so right. Reading many romance novels can leave us feeling like we’re missing something or our “real” lives aren’t good enough.
Well said, Christy. I had not even heard of this book until a friend of mine (Michelle @ Graceful) wrote about why she WON’T be reading this and then I started hearing more and more about it. We are bombarded with shows and books and magazines that tell us that sin is glamorous and if we endorse them, we are in essence agreeing. Wanna read romance worth reading? Try Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It’s the story of Hosea put to modern times and it is an incredible love story with Christ as the center.
Gaby recently posted..Infertility, You Lost Again
I love Redeeming Love, such a powerful and well-written story! I hadn’t heard of these books either until I read Karen’s post.
Great post, Christy! This is the first I am hearing of these books, and it is so disheartening. It is important not to open the door, even a little, to this type of material. Once this material enters your heart and mind, it will not go away. We are called to purity in all we do…and read. Thanks for taking a stand!
Well done, my friend!
Absolutely. We don’t have to experience the bad in order to run away from it.
I liken it to my Christian testimony. I used to feel I was somehow missing something that I didn’t have this AHA! moment when I decided to turn from some deep sin to Christ. Yes, I was a sinner, as we all are…but you know, those who are knee-deep in some really bad things and finally “see the light” and turn to Christ? Yeah, I didn’t have that, I’ve always known Christ, I just now know Him deeper.
My testimony is just as valid as one who turned from drugs, alcohol, perversion, you name it. And you’re (and mine) deciding not to read these books are just as valid without reading it.
I’m rambling now…..suffice it to say, I love this post!
Laurie recently posted..What’s For Dinner, Mom- A Gabby Moms Review
Thanks Laurie! (I didn’t think you were rambling…)
Thanks for discussing this in a way that deliberately avoids bashing those
who have read it. I have seen so many blogs and especially comments elsewhere that come off as smug and Pharisaical about it.
I have never heard of these books before. Thanks for enlightening people like me about them. Now I know what to do. I liked the verse that you dropped in there. It has encouraged me a lot..
John Terry recently posted..100% Blonde Jokes: The Best Dumb Funny Clean Short and Long Blonde Jokes Book
I love this topic. This is very hot topic. It really captures me to read this post. Thanks for sharing it to us.
Whitney Powel recently posted..Lose Weight with Colon Cleansers
Okay I will say I read the series and these books have actually IMPROVED me and my husbands marriage and sex life 100 %.