Remember, You Have Great Strengths To Bring To Parenting!

I’m excited to introduce you all to Shannon from In A Mirror Dimly!  Shannon is a book-lover (a girl after my own heart) and mother of two kids.  Here she shares some wonderful wisdom about parenting from our strengths.  This is really a reminder to all mothers (although, I wish I had learned this when my oldest was a baby!).  Please read on for great insights!

I was nearly 30 before I finally welcomed my firstborn into the world. Some of that was our choice. Some of that was beyond our control or desire. But, either way, it meant we’d had eight years of being married with no kids.

Which meant we’d had ample opportunity to watch others parent. Some of our mentors were great models for us. We’re grateful for those years because we gleaned a lot that has shaped our approaches to parenting today.

Of course, there often seems to be a downside to our blessings, doesn’t there? For me, that downside was comparison. I had used those eight years to conjure an image of the mom I thought I should be.

A little of this, a pinch of that. And “wa-la.” There she was. The trouble was, she wasn’t me!

Even though I put my clothes on her and called her “Shannon.” Nope, still not me. No matter how I rearranged her or propped her up, she still wasn’t me.

And then it finally dawned on me a few years ago (nearly 10 years into this parenting gig) that God made me. With gifts and passions and life experiences. And that those things affected my mothering.

Whether you’ve been a mom for 20 years or for 20 minutes, I want to encourage you with this thought: mother out of your strengths. You know, the ones the God of the universe gave you? Uniquely. To you.
Oh sure, you might have to give attention to your weaknesses, and shore them up so that your kids don’t turn out to be psycho extremists. You can glean things from other moms to fill in the gaps – read books, get a mentor, follow a few blogs, get accountability from friends. With the Holy Spirit’s empowering, those will be helpful tools at times to help you in the areas where you are weakest. The truth is, sometimes, you’ve just got to get out of your comfort zone and do something that doesn’t come naturally to you for the sake of your kids.

But, don’t spend all your time bemoaning the things you don’t do well. Instead, celebrate how God has designed YOU and let that positively impact your kids.

For example, I have some friends who are great at getting on the floor and playing make-believe with their kids. For years, I felt guilty that I could never really do that. I could get on the floor and help them build the castle and set up the people but when it came to actually playing with the little Lego guys, I always drew a blank.

Oh, and, while I’m at it, I might as well tell you that I’m also not good at crafts and artistic stuff. When my kids were little, I rarely set up the easel and let them go to town with their paints. In fact, that whole scene sort of terrified me.

However, I am very good with books and writing. I could spend all day on the second floor of my favorite library, talking to the librarians about the latest Children’s Literature. So, I’ve been doing read alouds with my kids every evening since they were young. Now that the kids are old enough for novels, we sometimes read for an hour. I try to do voices and accents and the whole nine yards. I love it. And the kids have come to cherish it. Some moms might feel totally under the pile thinking about doing that.

How about another example? Rick and I also love to think and reason and talk about issues. It’s just sort of something we do. So, a lot of our spiritual instruction with our kids is on that level. I was never great at things like coming up with finger puppets to teach them Bible lessons. We mostly illustrate with our words. We have a few creative things that we’ve done over the years but mostly, we just talk. As a result, our kids are very talkative. People are always commenting on their vocabulary or their comfort-level at talking with adults.

Maybe you’re better with finger puppets or word-plays. Sweet. I’m not telling you to be like me. I just want you to know that it’s OK to mother out of your strengths and passions. In fact, that’s awesome. God is honored as we live in diversity and bring our various giftings to bear on the world around us.

Don’t waste time feeling guilty about the way you do make believe with your kids. Just get down on the floor with them and bring who you are. If I were to venture a guess, I’m pretty sure they’d rather have you than a fake, supermom anyway.

Shannon is a self-proclaimed putterer. She likes to dabble in this, that, and the other thing. Sometimes that creates a lot of inner turmoil and lost productivity! But, it gives her a lot to write about at her blog In a Mirror Dimly! She feels blessed to be able to write from home, directing some online publicity for a local firm in Northeast Ohio. Some things that move her: loving her Pastor-husband and their two kiddos, supporting the public school her kids attend, sharing hospitality and creating refuge, living missional, and teaching women to study the Bible. That, AND devouring dark chocolate almonds from Trader Joe’s.

* Don’t forget to link up your own posts on babies at the Baby Days page!