9 Steps to Becoming FunMom

We’ve established that we want to be fun. No more “waaah me, waaaah me. This mom stuff is so hard.”   We’re moms and we have little blessings running around and we’re ready to love it.

To make it easy, here are some FunMom guidelines I’ve invented for myself.  See what you think:

1. Keep it simple.

Think play-dough, not Disneyland.

In other words, we don’t have to take the kids to Disneyland every day to be FunMom. It can be as easy as chocolate chips on their peanut butter toast, or coloring on the front window with dry erase markers, or letting them take a bath in the middle of the day (complete madness, I know).

2. Become YesMom.

Play a game that only you know about: How Many Times Can I Say “Yes” To The Kids Today?

3. Start to get organized.

It’s easier to have a fun mindset if we know things are taken care of.

Here are a couple of resources I’ve found:

31 Days To Clean (spring cleaning turned devotional!)

Motivated Moms (help with getting that daily housekeeping done)

4. Fight the lies that are whispered to us throughout the day.

You know, the lies that tell us things like:

“you must weigh 94 pounds to be skinny”

“your husband doesn’t love you”

“you are a bad mother”

Because they’re not true. And they’re not of God. Fight those lies with the truth: either with simple words like “Jesus loves me”, or a scripture (like this one), or a hymn.

5. When we’re wrong, or we make a mistake, admit it.

Admit it.

Turn from it.

Ask forgiveness.

Forget about it.

6. Give ourselves grace.

We’re going to mess up. There will be days when we aren’t fun. We might even loose our tempers or the house will be a disaster or our kids will act up. That’s ok. It’s not going to be this way forever. Just one day. Tomorrow is a new day.

7. Be realistic.

When we realize we have set goals that are too high we lower them.

Clues to know our expectations are too high:

soap got poured into the baby’s eyes and she has been screaming for 45 minutes, the perpetrator is also screaming. nobody is dressed. breakfast has not been served. friends are coming over in 5 minutes and you’re supposed to all go to church in 20.

Let’s be realistic. Call the friend. Change those church plans. Be OK with that. (this may or may not be based on real life experience.)

yelling in general. for me, yelling is a huge clue. If I am yelling at the kids, chances are my expectations were a little too high. (expecting them to do a job that may not match their age, or trying to get out the door when we’re already late). These are times when I yell.  It’s also a clue that I need to be realistic.  Let something go.

8. We choose a chore we know we can get done every day. And do it.

For me, this chore is making my bed.

Yes, I usually sweep under the table and I often get at least part of the counter cleared off and wiped down, but I rarely manage to do those things every single day. I can make my bed. When everything else is madness, I can walk into my room and look at my bed. One thing checked off my checklist.

9. Take time for ourselves.

Find something we like to do and pursue it. This could be exercise or a hobby or reading. Any old thing that’s just for us will do.

We can do this!

Do you have anything to add to the list?

 

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Christy can be found at the beach chasing naked toddlers and cheering on her young surfers. She founded One Fun Mom to share her imperfect life and encourage moms to love how God made them. She's delighted to have you join her and her fabulous writing team as you all journey closer to God and learn to love others through His example.

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Comments

  1. A perfect list. I am not very good at giving myself grace, sadly. I love your yes mom idea, I am going to play it tomorrow. And accept if I forget and it takes me all summer to change my “no” habit.

    • I really have to focus on it, and I also have to work at the “grace” part , too. Tonight one of the boys wanted to feed the baby and I just wanted to say “no, that will be a huge mess.” But I said yes. And it was a huge mess. Eh, what’s another bath?

  2. For me it is hard to put being “fun mom” at the top of the list. I have determined that what stands in my way is the aftermath or the end game. I like to try to say yes to what the kids want to do, but I stop myself because the clean up or ending the game seems to be too much trouble. This is where I tend to “lose it” – not because there is a mess, but because nobody wants the game to end and nobody wants to clean up. My kids are old enough to know how to clean up (and they do have to do it often), but there is ALWAYS a struggle to do it. This is where “yes mom” becomes yelling mom.

    Also it is hard to be “fum mom” when one or more children are complaining about what another considers fun. The 10 year old does not think that what the 5 year old wants to do is fun, the girls does not like what the boys think is fun (and she is greatly out numbered), what is fun for the 10 year old involes electronics, or some other thing that the others can’t do, someone other than mom wants to be in charge….

    There are so many obstacles, but I am determind to try very hard this summer to be fun and to stop yelling. I will definately be setting clear time limits to the fun (time to get a loud kitchen timer), clear expectations about what clean-up will entail, and some sort of rotating schedule of fun for each kid. Wish me luck, I have one more week to institute all the FUN!

    • You can do it! I can imagine it is hard with such a wide age span. Timers and clear expectations sound like awesome tools.

      And there’s always the beach! Easy fun right there! Plus cousins and an aunt. Perfect idea, if I do say so myself.

  3. April Hill says:

    love the list, so perfect, want to print it and past it on a wall!! Working on all these things just this morning!

  4. #7 is the one that hits home the most for me! If I set realistic expectations than I don’t waste time gettting overwhelmed or being disappointed .

    the thing I could add? SIT DOWN! I carve out time every day (30 minutes) and literally sit with my children. This way they have my undivided attention, I can relax and enjoy them and the “face” time is precious and priceless. This has brought some much needed stress relief to my life.

    • I love that Michelle. While I do get a lot of face time with the boys during our homeschool sessions, it’s not the same as just “being” with them. I’m going to have to start implementing that!

  5. AWESOME!! Post I struggle with being the fun mom and could stand to get better at cleaning.

  6. Good morning,
    I’m two posts in, and loving your blog, Christy. It is so empowering when a woman shares openly and honestly.

    I also have the nice mommy versus monster mommy battle in my life. Quite often it feels like I have to be grumpy (and threatening negative consequences) to be heard. I am grateful that my princess has reached the age where I can give her options… for instance,
    “I have asked nicely twice, do I need to get grumpy?”,
    “Okay, you can be upset that it is time to leave, or you can be happy that we got to _________________ today. The choice is yours.”
    Another version of this is “you can be upset that you didn’t get ___________, or you can be happy that you did get _______________. The choice is yours.” (I’m sure we all have noticed the gimme, gimme, gimme more energy that kicks in when fun or treats start happening) ,
    “We are about to go into _____________________, what set of behaviors do you use while we are here? What happens if you don’t use the proper behaviors?”

    One idea I would like to add to your list Christy; EAT! Eat well and eat regularly. Recently I posted on Facebook that I was feeling uncomfortable in my skin. When a friend asked me what was going on, I spewed out all the ramblings of my heart and mind, all the fears and ping-ponging thoughts of inadequacy. She asked me if I had eaten… I had not. Even my little one has learned to say “you’re acting like you need to eat something”, and she is always right. Us moms are genetically programmed to take care of everything around us, but we habitually forget to take care of ourselves.

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